|This sign exists because of drunk people|
#1: You are not smarter when you are drunk. In fact, you are significantly dumber. You aren't fooling anyone.
#2: You are also not funny when you are drunk. Trust me. Not funny. At all.
#4: If you are drunk, you are probably around a lot of other drunk people. One of them will probably want to kick your ass at some point in the evening.
#5: Your ability to have sex is significantly hindered by excessive amounts of alcohol.
#6: Drunken phone calls. Drunken texting. Drunken Facebooking. Drunken Twittering.
#7: Do you really want to spend the first day of the new year hung over?
#8: You could accidentally kill yourself.
#9: You could accidentally kill someone else.
#10: You are significantly more likely to need the services of a forensic psychologist (and attorney) if you get drunk tonight.
Thanks for reading, and Happy New Year! --Max Wachtel, Ph.D.